It’s a Mad Mad ChiSeries

Last night was our now annual Ottawa ChiSeries Holiday Extravaganza!

It’s a lighter fare than our usual readings. We invite out local publishers and artisans to set up a few tables and we had some highlights of past readers. This year for the entertainment we had a story in the round The Nightmare Before Christmas. Marie started the story with an opening written by Matt Moore about the Big Red Guy’s nephew, Cliff Cringle, having to take over due to Santa having a nasty cold. But the two don’t see eye to eye on what’s naughty or nice and insanity ensues. There were a few cameos in the story, both political and fandom. Marie ended up wrapping the story up so of course everyone exploded.

We also had some holiday themed Mad Libs that Matt and I crafted for the evening. The audience shouted words to fill in the blanks and then to read them we had Jay Odjick, Hayden Trenholm, Robin Riopelle and Derek Kunsken. And now, I offer you the completed Mad Libs, our own ChiSeries carols, for you to share with your loved ones.

Jingle Vuvuzuela

Vibrating through the snow
In a one-platypus open weiner mobile
O’er the Royal Ottawa Golf Club we go
Flatulating all the way (ha ha ha)
Vuvuzuela on bobtails ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to flatulate and ferment
A weiner-mobile song tonight!

Jingle vuvuzuela! Jungle vuvuzuela!
Jingle all the way.
Oh! What fun it is to ride
In a one-platypus open weiner mobile.

Chartreuse Secretary’s Day

I’m dreaming of a chartreuse Secretary’s Day
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the submarine–tops glisten and cocktails listen
To hear sleigh wigwams in the wolverines.

I’m dreaming of a chartreuse Secretary’s Day
With every Secretary’s Day Mercedes Benz I vaporize.
May your days be loose and bombastic
And may all your Secretary’s Days be chartreuse.

Let it Tornado!

Oh the weather outside is repugnant,
But the fire is so hairy,
And since we’ve no place to go
Let it tornado! Let it tornado! Let it tornado!

It doesn’t show signs of stopping
And I’ve brought some haggis for regurgitating,
The lights are turned way down low,
Let it tornado! Let it tornado! Let it tornado!

When we finally rhinoplasty good night
How I’ll sliding out in the storm!
But if you’ll hold me tight
All the way I’ll be yellow-drunk.

The fire is pedantically dying
And, my dear, we’re still goodbying
But as long as you elate me so
Let it tornado! Let it tornado! Let it tornado!

How to install your Christmas Corset

1. Unfold Christmas corset stand until the amygdala are perpendicular.
2. Insert eyebolts and scrounge Softly.
3. Insert the Brandon of the smelly section of the corset into the assembled corset
4. Scrounge the eyebolts as necessary.
5. Insert the mellifluous section of the corset into the smelly
6. Unfold branches until your corset looks
7. Unroll entrails from carton.
8. Starting at the mellifluous, tranquilize the entrails around the You should be able to wrap the entrails pi times around the tree.
9. Plug the entrails into a
10. Jump your new Christmas corset!
11. To prevent coffee shortages do not leave your corset plugged in unattended.